The Demon From Down the Lane
by Kratos the Divine
Summary: Gaara is a curious human who did a little too much research into the demons around him. When he decides to sneak into their night club, to find out what's really real, his world changes drastically. The night is dark, but it's never lonely when the demons come to play. NaruxGaa NaruxKiba and others as it suits my fancy. YAOI. HARDCORE. NOT FOR KIDDIES!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So… it's been years since I've posted and… what do I have to show for it? That's right. Not an update, but a brand new story. An incredibly raunchy story. Like… seriously. I'm really showing off my kinks in this one. And, as porn-i-rific as this story is… it also has a plot! So it's like… really porn-driven plot.

Alexei: Um… I have a question…

Nicholae: Yes he finally managed to crawl out of the closet you locked him in years ago… We're still trying to figure out what you did to him…

Kratos: Nothing happened. We had tea, and cakes, there were ponies, and all was well. Please do not press the issue.

Mikhael: Well… what about the collar?

Alexei: Yeah… what about the… collar. *toys with remote*

Kratos: IT IS A FASHION STATEMENT: I HAVE NO FASHION!

Nicholae: Obviously. Well… I think it might be my turn, or maybe his, but whatever. I'll do it this time.

Disclaimer: The author of this fanfic does not own or profit from the characters represented herein. Naruto is the property of Mashashi Kishimoto, who will one day be heralded as a god for his creation. Furthermore, the material(s) covered in this fictional story are:  
A) Fictional

B) Exceptionally Graphic

C) Sexual activities between two boys (GAY HOMOEROTIC QUEEROSEXUAL VAGINA-FREE BOY ON BOY BUTT POUNDING ANUS SPEARING ASS PLUNDERING BEND OVER AND GRAB YER ANKLES I'M GOING IN ROUGH SMEXYTIMES!)

Mikhael: If he offends anybody… ride a donkey-dick till you get to the creamy center, because he told you it was going to be graphically gay!

Kratos: Well… that's… one way of putting it… but… Without further ado, I am pleased to present a steamy and demony fic I like to call…

**Little Red Riding Demons**

… But seriously, here's

**The Demon from Down the Lane**

++++Gaara's POV++++

I'd spent six months studying, planning, researching, and learning all that I could about… _them_. Hours of felony-level stalking, exceptionally skillful eavesdropping, and brilliant – if I do say so myself – planning had led me here… The Den.

The Den was a club, a night club that frequently appeared in the local papers. It was billed as "ten out of ten, amazing music, wonderful – and exclusive – clientele". The building was massive and was said to contain over a hundred private rooms, lounges, dance floors, and… retiring chambers. And, on top of it all, it was a demon hot-ground.

I'm not a demon hunter. I'm not a priest. I'm not even particularly religious. But I am curious, and… honestly, I'm a bit interested in them. And that's why I decided to stake out the club. In clubbing clothes. Totally and completely inconspicuous. Totally. Minus the trembling.

"Hey Red, what's your problem?" the bouncer asked, staring at me over his mirror shades. I blushed – couldn't help it, I'm a bit shy. Plus, he was pretty hot… shaggy brown hair cascading a bit below his ears, some red tattoo marks on his face – triangles pointing down, an odd pattern but one I had discovered in my research. Just a simple tribal tattoo marking him as a member of the Inuzuka dog demons.

"Ah… sorry, I was… ah…" I coughed and he laughed.

"Mmmhmm… you got a sponsor, Red?" he asked, lowering his shades down to the tip of his nose. His eyes were strangely feral, although incredibly warm… kind of like melted chocolate… And his voice was really… No! Keep it together! He's hot, yeah, but he's not your goal!

I leaned back slightly and lowered my eyes – trying to make myself look as uncaring as possible. "I don't need a sponsor. I think you'll find I'm you're type of client, Inuzuka." I glared at him, hoping that the glare I'd practiced for weeks was convincing enough. The dog demon chuckled quietly before shaking his head.

"Right, Red. Look, why don't you go back home before you get yourself in…" he trailed off. Suddenly, he tensed and blinked before removing his shades completely before leaning down and staring me firmly in the eyes. Recognition sparked in his eyes, "S-sorry, did you say… Ah shit… Yeah, my bad, didn't mean ta… c'mon in." He stood back up and removed the red velvet rope. "Enjoy, sir. Welcome to The Den."

Something should have set me off, really, right then and there. It wasn't right. He didn't believe me. I could tell. Something about the nervousness he had about him, like he was going to get in trouble. But… I was in, and that's all that mattered. The entrance hall was heavily lined with soft red carpet and classy décor. The hallway was sound-buffered so that only the vibrations of the main dance floor's beats filtered through. Entering the club proper was like walking into a hellish pit of heavy beating bases and powerful rhythms, gyrating and convulsing bodies, and a glorious lack of inhibition.

I wasn't supposed to be here, I know. It was dangerous. All my research said I could blend in. It wasn't hard. I just had to keep from letting them know I was human. It wasn't hard. A group of people at the bar turned and stared at me. Suddenly, I knew I was in trouble. Several other groups and individuals started staring at me, and a few began to move towards me. I took a step back and made to run, but it was too late – one was already there.

Strong… powerful… oh God… he smelled so… masculine… sweat glistened off of his bare chest, and the smile he beamed down at me melted any reservations I had. He pulled me against his chest and a deep, powerful rumble vibrated through my being. His beautifully innocent blue eyes stared at me, and his perfectly formed lips moved, though his words were lost to me in the music. I felt as if I could spend eternity just watching him talk, and never hearing what he said.

Carefully, gently, he pulled me into a hallway that I hadn't noticed before, and the music died down almost instantly. Before I could speak, he gently covered my mouth and pushed open a door. Inside was a private lounge that was, at the time, empty. It was nice and decorated in tones of purple and blue, with dark wood furniture and a fully stocked bar on one side. He pushed me in and closed the door behind us. A soft click confirmed that we wouldn't be interrupted – and that I couldn't escape.

I finally had a chance to review my rescuing captor, and he was… perfect. He was shirtless, and perfectly tanned skin was stretched tightly over nicely chiseled abs and pecs. Muscularly toned, but not buff. His back was strong and well formed, and he had a pert and well-formed ass with just the slightest hint of toned muscle to it. He had soft-looking blonde hair that was slightly damp with sweat, but still seemed to remain in a spiky hairstyle. Whisker-like marks on his face were demon signs I'd never seen before, though they added to his appeal beyond anything… except those eyes. They seemed so innocent, so kind and caring. They were a rich, living blue that danced with mirth, even as they were scanning me.

"That was close, yeah?" he asked softly, a gentle smile gracing his face. I shrugged. Had to keep it cool… though, as sweet and innocent as this guy looked… he might actually not be a demon. He might be a normal guy like me who has a sponsor here… though that would mean he was a demon's pet…

"Whatever. It's not the first time that's happened," I replied casually. He chuckled and moved towards me lightly. I tensed a bit, and his grin widened.

"Cut the shit. You fooled Kiba with your secondhand knowledge, but I'm a whole 'nother level. Name's Naruto, by the way. Can I get you a drink?" he asked, moving towards the small, unattended bar. "Sit," he said, motioning to a table against the wall. I numbly obeyed. Kiba must have been the demon at the door… and if this guy was "a whole 'nother level" that made him a demon, too.

My mouth ran dry. He knew. But how… all my research had told me they had no way of telling demon from human… A glass was pressed into my hand. "You seem like a sweets guy… try this," he said. Blinking, I stared at the glass. The liquid inside was a deep red and smelled slightly of fruit.

Nervously, I looked up at him. Sitting across from me, he seemed like a normal guy. He ran his finger around the rim of his glass and licked it. "Ah… scotch…" he murmured before lifting the glass to his lips and taking a huge gulp. I winced as I watched the liquor vanish down his throat. Scotch was hard stuff. It burned the fuck out of my throat… not that I was supposed to be drinking it, but still…

Sitting his glass down, he grinned, "If it ain't at least 18, I don't touch it," he said with a cocky smirk before noticing my drink had gone untouched. With a quirked brow, he motioned for me to drink. "I didn't drug it, you know."

Nervously, I took a sip. It was very sweet, and barely any alcoholic burn going down. "It's… it's good. Thank you…" I said. He smiled and nodded.

"Thought you'd like it. So, tell me, why are you, a totally and completely innocent human – virgin, might I add – wandering in a demon hotbed?"

"D-demon?" I stuttered, hoping to throw him off. If he thought I was completely ignorant, he might just throw me out. My fortune wasn't that great, apparently, because my response caused him to laugh a deep, powerful laugh. It wasn't particularly frightening. In fact, if we'd been friends, I'd have to say it was comforting. But coming from a demon, it might as well have been accompanied by a twirl-y moustache and dramatic piano music.

"Look, I'll level with you. I'm trying to decide if I want to eat you. You're obviously very clever and I like that. Plus, you're exactly my type. Slender, smooth, supple… I imagine you'd be incredibly flexible in bed. And I've always had a think for red heads, and you're just so damn… sexy in your ignorance. So… really, I'm trying to decide if I want to let you live or not… I'm definitely going to eat you, now that I think about it…" he ran his finger over the rim of his glass again, almost as if he was nervous. His eyes flicked up towards me.

I blanched and he laughed. "Oh, relax! I'm not going to actually eat eat you. I'm going to… ravish you… defile you… devour your innocence… that whole thing," he said almost as if we were talking about a sports team or weather forecasts. My look must have been one of confusion, though, because he suddenly started giggling – giggling! – and added, "I'm going to fuck your brains out, get it?" I nodded dumbly and he smiled.

"Great! So, now, all that remains is do I let you live or do I kill you afterwards…"

I have to admit… I thought he was joking up until now. But the look in his eye was… not. The innocent blue still shined brightly, but something darker lurked beneath them, causing a strange purple tint to glint in the low light. I swallowed the rest of my drink and sat it on the table. "Thanks for the drink… I've got to get – mmph!"

His lips were incredibly soft, actually. And he tasted smoky from his scotch... and spicy, too. His hands were everywhere at once, and in minutes I was stripped bare, panting beneath him on the floor. Powerful strokes and licks all over my body paralyzed me. I squirmed beneath him, completely incapable of saying no to any of his advances. His fingers kneaded me, prodded my, brushed me in ways that caused pleasure to course through my body like the blood in my veins. Then, as if they never were there, his leather pants vanished, and I saw that he was quite serious about ravishing me… thoroughly ravishing me.

It wasn't the first cock I'd seen in my life, what with the bounty of porn on the internet, but it was the most impressive. It wasn't a monster cock with a weird bend or spikes, but it was large. Length wise, it was about eight inches, maybe eight and half. The girth of the shaft promised to be a stretching experience, as it looked like it was about as thick as a beer bottle. The swelling had caused the foreskin to peel back slightly, leaving the tip of his pink head exposed. A small bead of clear fluid was forming in his slit and he smiled his wicked smile at me. I was pinned flat on my back, with both of his knees forcing my legs to spread. My own arousal was… significantly less impressive.

"So… here's where you get a say. Oral or no?" he asked as he leaned down and nuzzled my neck as I tried to formulate a plea for mercy. My words died, though as playful nips danced across my skin. A particularly sharp nip actually pierced my skin, causing a small droplet of my life fluid to bead to the surface of my flesh. He chuckled against my neck. "Sorry…" he murmured before nipping me again, much harder this time, "Actually… not really…" he licked the wound and purred softly for a second before jerking up and cursing.

"Fuck! You're kidding me! Shit! Damn it!" he hissed as his sat back on his calves. His arousal bobbed angrily, almost as if it was nodding in agreement. I sat up on my elbows, finally able to control myself as I realized what was really happening. I'd almost been raped by a demon! My movement seemed to have caught his attention, because his eyes once again locked on to me.

"You're… you fuckin'… damn it… FUCK!" he roared before slamming his fist into the floor. There was a loud crack as the concrete beneath the purple carpet broke under his rage. Suddenly, his eyes seemed to lock onto mine, and the world started to shimmer around him. Red bled into his blue eyes and his face became significantly more wild. I found it hard to focus on anything but him, and found myself wondering what he'd suggest I do. It was a curious thought, almost as if I was eager to do whatever he suggested. Suddenly, I realized it was a form of hypnosis, but by then it was too late. He'd already made his suggestion… very persuasively, might I add. His handsome face smirked cockily as he whispered, "Sleep."

_This is a page break, it's in this story, no you don't have one... you're not a story... _

++++Naruto's POV++++

_This is a page break, it's in this story, no you don't have one... you're not a story... _

I dropped my aura as soon as the boy beneath me drifted off. Fuck! Now what am I going to do? Lil' Naru's out and he won't go back in till he's had a nice time. Staring at the boy beneath me, I thought long and hard about bending my rule and having just a little taste of the delicious child beneath me, but I couldn't. I made a promise, and I keep my promises. But that didn't mean I couldn't keep him till he was ripe.

Grinning, I bit into my wrist and held it over his chest, allowing my dark blood to pool on his pale, succulent flesh. A slow trickle ran down his chest and into the slight dip leading to his abdomen – I'd have to do something about that, couldn't have him wasting way on me – before pooling on his stomach. Licking my wrist, I thought carefully about my next action. What did I want from this boy? Everything, obviously… duh! With that incredibly complicated decision made, I drew the ancient signs of ownership in my blood on the boy's stomach, chest, and head. Then, just for fun, I traced a few personal signs on his groin – nothing binding like the ownership marks, but some fun things like "joy stick" and "happy sack" and "Property of Naruto, don't touch, lick, nuzzle, suck, stroke, or milk without prior approval". Just something to let everyone know that he was mine... Not that it mattered, anyway. The marks of my blood had already sank into his flesh. The rest would just dry and crack and eventually wipe off.

That problem taken care of, I gave him one last, incredibly longing look, before firmly reminding myself that a promise is a promise. I stepped out of the lounge and locked the door behind me – added caution. Not that any of the others would dare test my marks, but still… couldn't hurt to be safe. A human that wandered in and saw my prize wouldn't see anything but a deliciously defenseless sexiboi. I groaned as Lil' Naru throbbed, reminding me of why I was leaving him alone and unguarded. Stepping out of the hallway, I cast a cursory glance around for anyone to suit my hungers for the night. A few familiars popped up on my radar, but not that promised anything like what I wanted.

I was about to give up and settle for a medium-to bad lay with one of the random demonesses wandering around when Kiba came wandering in from the entrance, stretching and looking longingly towards the bar. I smirked. Kiba was a definite yes. I intercepted in before he was halfway across the floor. He whined.

"C'mon Naruto, I'm thirsty!" he pleaded. I smirked and nuzzled his neck.

"Aw… poor puppy wants a drink? Papa's got some nice warm milk for him, but he has to say ah first, 'kay?" I teased. I guess it was Lil' Naru stabbing him in the leg, or maybe the way I said it, but finally, he realized I was naked and fully engaged. Dumbly, he nodded and I led him towards the same hallway that I just recently led the cause of my discomfort down. Opening the room next to my private lounge, I pushed Kiba in and chuckled.

"Good puppy," I cooed as he immediately sank to his knees and started whimpering and whining, begging and pleading with his eyes. "Are you hungry puppy? Did you find anything tasty outside?" I asked, gently running my fingers through his hair. Kiba leaned into my touch – he was a good boy, after all, and the best one I ever trained.

He nodded furiously before lovingly nuzzling my thigh. "There was this little red-haired guy, really cute. Blushed a lot. But… he knew I was an Inu, so I thought he was one of us…" he playfully licked at the base of my shaft. I scratched his head gently before patting him and stepping away. He whined, but grinned when I came back with a chair. I sat a few feet away from him.

"You've been a naughty puppy, Kiba. He wasn't one of us. He was a sweet, innocent little human… Luckily, I managed to pluck him up before any of the others could…" I chided, shaking my finger at him before grinning and curling it towards me. Kiba crawled eagerly towards me and rested his head in my lap. "Unfortunately… he's a little young for my tastes, so I've been left with a bit of a problem, as you can see," I said as I gently rubbed my throbbing cock against his cheek, taking a second to smear my precum on his lips. His pink tongue lashed out, scooping up the precum on his lips and just barely grazing my head, causing me to groan lightly. "Good boy… is my puppy thirsty? I've got plenty of nice fresh milk for him…" Kiba whined eagerly and nuzzled my thigh again. I smiled softly and patted his head. "You know what to do, pup."

Almost as soon as I gave him permission, the head of my cock was engulfed in a tight, hot, wet cavern lined with flesh-rending ivory daggers. A sinfully skillful tongue swirled around my knob, collecting a healthy amount of my precum. I moaned loudly to let my puppy know he was doing a good job, and buried my fingers in his hair, tugging slightly, but not forcing more than he wanted to take into his mouth. He wanted to pleasure me, after all, so he got to decide how to do it.

A soft growl built up in his throat as he started to slowly bob his head up and down my shaft. Each time my head would brush the back of his throat, the growl grew more intense, sending jolts of pleasure through my sensitive tip. Precum was gushing out of my cock like water, and he swallowed it hungrily each time I filled his mouth. I always had exceptional pre-production, so he had plenty to enjoy before his real meal came... God! That tongue was amazing!

I groaned loudly and gasped as his tongue suddenly ran the length of my shaft in his mouth before he deepthroated me – an impressive task, by the way. Not to brag, but I've never had a demon (or a demoness on the rare occasion) complain about anything but the limp afterwards. He'd had plenty of practice, though.

Gasping loudly, I gently tugged on his hair to let him know I was close. Swallowing once around me – and just barely managing to squeeze off my shaft so I couldn't shoot that instant – he pulled back until only the head of my shaft was buried in his steamy mouth. His sinful tongue danced around my cockhead until finally, with a loud groan, I tensed up and spewed a good cup or so of my potent essence into his famished mouth. Kiba's throat worked overtime to gulp down all my spunk while his tongue flicked at the slit it was flowing from between powerful pulses.

At least thirty seconds passed before my voluminous release slowed to a regular "human" pace. I patted his head as he continued to hungrily suckle the last dregs of my seed. "God, puppy… you're so naughty with that tongue of yours… fuck, you're good…" I panted as I slumped back in my chair, my sexual frustration (for the moment) sated. Kiba continued to lick and suckle my softening demonhood until the very last trickles of my sperm were drained into his stomach. He released me with a soft pop and panted happily before crawling up my chair so that his face was beneath mine. His pants washed over me, and it carried a good, strong scent of my seed with every puff. He licked his lips before leaning down and nuzzling my chest. I pressed my hand to his head and gently scratched it. "Good boy! Such a good boy, puppy… you deserve a treat, don't you? Don't you?" Kiba grinned and nodded, still not quite ready to start talking again – he always got like this when we played. He was such an obedient puppy… if I could love, I'd love him for it…

I stood and stretched, chuckling at how he sat back on his haunches, his erection straining against the fabric of his plain black jeans. He was really quite well dressed, with his black t-shirt stretched so deliciously tightly across his chest and abs. Gazing down at him, I smirked. "Take off your clothes, pup." Tearing at his shirt, he threw it over his back before ripping the button off of his tight pants and clumsily yanking them off. He resumed his obedient position, sitting on his haunches and waiting for instructions. So adorable!

I knelt down in front of him and brushed his throbbing shaft with my hand. Kiba was a proud demon, so when his entire frame shuddered and he released the most pathetic whine ever, I knew he was at his breaking point. Gripping the beastly member in my hands, I chuckled at his eager expression. "Pup… You know," I said casually as I lightly pumped his iron, "I don't remember the last time I tasted you… I should probably fix that, huh?" Gently tugging his cock as I rose, I directed him to stand and walk towards a table nearby. He stumbled back – my hand still holding his cock – as his ass bumped the table. Falling back nicely onto it, he yelped and instinctively spread his legs. That was a beautiful sight. A gorgeous dog demon spread out panting heavily on a table, waiting for me to devour him whole. I wiped the drool from my mouth before realizing I could put it to a better purpose. Carefully, I knelt down so that my face was now level with his body. Greedily, I licked his throbbing meat shaft, and groaned at the explosion of flavor that filled my mouth. Kiba was a canine demon. His shaft was long and thick, with just the slightest hint of swelling at the base that suggested what his bestial form's cock proudly stated: he had a knot and he liked to use it. He was built to breed, so even his precum had a powerfully potent head to it. It was a rich flavor, and one that not many people would find pleasant. It was bitter, and smoky, like scotch. But there was an underline sweet-salty taste that just barely danced at the border of your taste buds, and it drew the whole thing together. He was one of the few demons that I actually eagerly sucked off. His precum was like a 12 year scotch, strong and tasty, but not as satisfying as his real load. That… that was like nectar from a peaty heaven. I hungrily sucked his spearhead for a few minutes before realizing that there was so much more I could do. Grinning, I released his shaft with a pop and nudged his legs apart. Scooping up a healthy dose of his pre-cum and my saliva, I zeroed in on his precious pink pucker and made swift work of preparing him.

Giving his shaft a final lick, I stood and positioned my reawakened libido at his lightly lubed entrance. Grinning down at him, I gave him one last set of instructions. "Don't you dare cum till I say you can, got it pup?" Before he could respond, I sheathed myself inside of him, moaning at the tight heat that enveloped my throbbing cock. He yelped and his hands flew to my shoulders, claws digging into my flesh. I grinned. God, he was tight! Kiba only ever bottomed for me, and it had been so long since I had my puppy on his back… Oh God… way to long. I groaned and bucked into him, earning a startled yelp. His tightness squeezed around me more fiercely, and I had a hard time pulling out the next go round.

Panting, I ground myself against his ass, burying my member as deep as I physically could. He growled and nipped at my neck as our mating took on a more ferocious aspect. Soon, my fangs extended and my human façade started to receded – just as his had done a few moments before. We were two powerful demons, rutting away furiously on a rather fragile table. When the first crack filled the air, and roared and ripped his body up off of the breaking table. Not missing a single rapid thrust, I slammed him against the wall next to the table and pounded his ass harder. He yelped and growled as he nipped at me. His claws had extended even more, and were tearing at my back. The sharp pain of the scratches, combined with the salt from our combined sweat, added a new level of pleasure to our violent coupling.

Deciding I didn't like this position, I again switched our location, so that he was pinned firmly to the floor. I slowed my thrusts down and started to make long, slow, drawn out plunges into his manly depths. He whimpered as my shaft brushed against his pleasure points deep within his body. I held his hands above his head so he couldn't do anything but accept what I was giving him. Copious amounts of his pre-cum had spewed between us, and the room was starting to smell like that amazing smell of sweat, sex, masculinity, and just a twinge of canine potency. I leaned down and flicked my tongue across his chest, smirking when the familiar flavor of his pre coated my tongue. My puppy was trying so hard not to cum… Unfortunately, he had yet to release himself tonight, while I had just drained my first load down his throat. He was fighting a losing battle, but I wasn't a cruel master.

Leaning down, I bit into the side of his neck, taking a deep drink from his life nectar. He whimpered, and the pain and shock was enough of a distraction to lessen his orgasm's approach, if only a little. I shifted our position slightly so that his back was slightly curled and I was pounding down into him while I looked him in the face. He was so beautifully horny. His eyes pleaded with me, begging me for permission. With a loud and victorious roar, I slammed my shaft as deep into him as possible. My balls rested comfortable on his ass as they started jumping and pumping my potent secretion into my loyal and willing bitch. Stream after stream of my masculinity flooded his innards, painting him from the inside with my scent and dominance. He whimpered as he felt the flood of searing hot sperm soak into him, marking him as my bitch. My essence would be in him for months, and he would always have just the faintest hint of my scent about him… and he loved that. My orgasm lasted over two minutes before I finally planted the last streams of spunk my balls had to offer in his ass. Slowly, I withdrew from him, making sure to keep his ass high in the air. My essence had filled him nicely, and I could see it pooling inside of him.

"Stay, boy!" I ordered. He whimpered and whined pleadingly – he still hadn't come. He was such a good puppy! I calmly strolled to the bar and selected a large wine glass. Grinning, I returned to him and slowly lowered his ass so that my seed started running out of him into the glass. It gushed out at first, but then slowed to a drizzle and finally, just a few drops. I smirked. The glass was filled to the brim. Not bad for the night's second load. I always hated the idea of my seed going to waste, so I carefully moved the cup so that it was sitting next to his head. "Such a good puppy… I bet he wants more milk, doesn't he? I've got a nice, big, fresh glass right here for you. Why don't you go ahead and lap it up, puppy?"I said. He obediently crawled –shakily – to his hands and knees before lowering his head and lapping at my spunk-chalice with his devilish tongue. Grinning, I stood and walked back to the bar to collect another glass.

"Good boy… spread your legs a bit, pup… that's right… good boy. I'm a bit thirsty myself, so I might just milk you, pup. How's that sound, hmm?" I said as I carefully placed the glass between his legs so that his member dangled just inside of it. He whined eagerly and shook his hips even as he dipped deeper into the quickly emptying chalice of man goo. I smiled and gently gripped his member. "You can cum whenever you're ready puppy. I'm thirsty, so make me a lot of milk, 'kay?" I teased before gently tugging his throbbing cock. Smirking naughtily, I flicked my tongue across his gooey hole. The potent tast of my seed greeted me and I moaned slightly before burying my tongue in his cavity, seeking out any of my seed that I could reach. Large reserves of it were too deep for me to get, but small trickles occasionally touched my tongue. Kiba yelped and whined as my tongue danced in his sensitive cavity, occasionally ducking out to tease his abused and stretched entrance. Lovingly, I rolled and caressed his hefty sack in my off-hand while I stroked and rubbed his cock with my right hand. I felt the tightness build inside those heavy orbs until, finally, I felt his body convulse around my tongue. I gripped his balls and gently tugged them while he pumped out streams of his smoky goo into my awaiting goblet. He groaned and eagerly pumped as much of his sperm-laden spunk into the class as he could before his member finally spent its last drops. I squeezed down his shaft and rolled his balls around to make sure I got the very last few drops of his reproductive goo before releasing him. He remained in his position, still obediently lapping up the last few dregs of my spunk from the cup I gave him.

Collecting my prize, I stood and walked in front of him. Gently nudging his chin with my foot – I grinned when I felt the slippery remains of his frantic feasting – I caught his attention. "Thanks for the meal, puppy. You're always so tasty when you're like this. I hope you enjoyed your treat." I then took a heavy swig from the cup filled with his jizz. It was a heady and powerful rush of masculinity and sexual energy that filled my core with new life. His body had offered up this rich and divine nectar in the attempts to create a new life. I was devouring it for the sheer pleasure of it. I greedily drained the glass and licked it clean before smirking at him and squatting down. I licked his cheek once before grabbing his hair and pulling him into a bruising kiss. The taste of our seeds mingled as we battled for dominance, though we both already knew who had won. Finally, I released his hair and lessened the kiss to a more gentle one. He finally broke away, licking his lips with an appreciative whimper. I smiled and patted his cheek. "Thanks puppy. I needed that…" I stood and stretched. "But now… I think we could both do with a bath."

For now, my sexual hungers had been appeased. Though, as I helped Kiba stand and clean up the lounge we stole, I felt that familiar stirring deep within my being. Kiba was not going to get off with just one round tonight. Judging by the limp he was sporting now, he probably wouldn't be moving much tomorrow, either. I smirked as led him towards one of the small, private bathing lounges. He knew as well as I did, that it would take a lot to satisfy my lusty desires. Especially since I couldn't have the thing that started them. Not yet, anyway.

++++End Chapter++++

A/N: So… Read and Review. Goodnight!

Mikhael: Wait a minute. What… the… FUCK was that?

Nicholae: That was… that was… fuck… that was not your usual… well… that was just wow.

Alexei: I STILL HAVE A QUESTION!

Kratos: Yes, Alexei?

Alexei: What's a spunk-chalice?

Nicholae: It's nothing you should worry about, GO TO BED!

Kratos: A spunk-chalice is… another word for a spanking. So, you don't want those, do you? Yeah… let's just ignore that, huh? Want a cookie?

Alexei: *eyes narrow* Two cookies?

Kratos: The whole damn box! Just get this collar off of me!

Mikhael: *to Nicholae* I wonder if he remembers I have the remote now?

NIcholae: Is THAT what that last part was? You making him write that stuff?

Mikhael: *scoffs* Hunny, trust me. I didn't HAVE to MAKE him write anything. That was all his own little fantasy. Now… If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go enjoy my new 3DS. Courtesy of our collared author friend here… Imma hack the game so I can tap Inigo's sexy little dancer-ass!

Kratos: … that cost me almost three hundred… never mind… never mind. Read and Review?


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: So… I've decided that this story shall be distinctively M rated. Mainly because I'm living out some of my fantasies, and partly because this is what he keeps telling me to write…

Alexei: Why are you whispering?

Kratos: No reason… so… who wants to do this chapter's warnings?

Mikhael: Not me… I'm not reading that stuff… Always have to take a shower afterwards, and it doesn't help me feel clean…

Nicholae: Well… as dramatic as that was… he's right… your warnings have gotten rather… vivid lately…

Alexei: I'll do it!

Kratos: N-no, Alexei, I don't think you should…

Alexei: *snatches card and reads in a monotonous voice* "Help me please I am being held hostage by a demonic little boy who wants to use me to express his evil urges. He has a device that constantly sends jolts of electricity into my brain and I need someone to help me before he finds out I'm trying to escape…"… huh… that's a weird warning… Are you sure this is the right one?

Kratos: Ha! Haha! Hahaha! Silly me… that was the… ah… summary… yeah, the summary for the next one… the next story… yeah… it's a… YugiohxNarutoxPokemonxBlack Butler crossover that… ah… has… electroshock therapy in it… yeah…

Mikhael: I thought you said you'd never write a crossover… And I'm pretty sure that you hated the idea of writing any Pokemon fanfiction…

Nicholae: Mikhael, obviously you didn't get the memo. He SAID it was a SUMMARY. Let it be.

Kratos: Yeah… ah… here's the real one, Alexei… but you should probably let Mikhael read it…

Mikhael: Give me that! *snatches and reads out loud* "I am a complete and total moron and have to read this because I deserve to be punished… Kratos and his muses and psychotic child muse do not own or profit from the writing of this fan fiction. Inside this chapter are gratuitous and graphic actions of a sexual nature between two men, strong overtones of slavery, however voluntary it may be, and an intense amount of semen fetish. Because I am a total and complete moron, I will now explain to myself exactly what I mean. There is gay sex galore in this chapter, with some people being slaves to others. There is a glorious amount of sperm flying around, getting shot into hungry holes, and…" oh… oh God… why the hell… oh… I'm going to be sick… *rushes to the bathroom*

Nicholae: What? *picks up card and laughs* That's… that's the part that got to him… not the graphic description… no… this is… here, let me finish… Ahem… "And a particularly fly dumpling". Well… That just happened.

Kratos: Yes… Yes it did.

Alexei: Um… what's a semen fetish?

Kratos: Roll chapter!

+++++++  
Chapter Two: In which there is Chinese Food  
+++++++

++++Gaara's POV++++

I groaned softly and rolled over to avoid the sunlight blasting my shielded retina. Grumpily, I curled deeper into my protective cocoon. It was incredibly soft, my cocoon, like feathers. Man… I'd never slept this good before in my life. I should go clubbing more often.

That thought alone sparked a hundred frightening memories in my drowsy mind, and I shot up out of my protective cocoon. The club… the drink… Naruto! The demon… naked, panting, trapped below his powerful body… his touches… the look of his engorged… I groaned softly as I felt my morning visitor perk up at the memories. After a few moments of calming myself down, I began to take stock in my surroundings.

I was in a bedroom that was, for the most part, rather cozy. The walls were a nice royal blue, and the carpet was tan. Posters of various bands and models – almost all male – were randomly stuck onto the walls. An L-shaped desk sat in one corner of the room with an extremely expensive and wicked looking computer resting on it. Red lights blinked in the black shell and made a rather sinister pentagon pattern. There were three doors in the room. The one nearest to me seemed to be the entrance into the room, and had a really big poster of an incredibly sexy man with deep red hair, tight black Underarmour briefs, a wicked smirk, and nothing else. The one just a few feet beyond the desk seemed to lead to a bathroom, while next to it were a set of folding mirror doors leading to a closet. There was a dresser in the corner next to the closet, and a few random pictures were sitting on top of it – the demon from the previous night was grinning his goofy grin in each and every picture.

The clock on the bedside table next to me read 11:37am. I knew I needed to get out of there, but the bed I was in was so incredibly comfortable! The comforter I was wrapped in was a down-filled comforter, as were the pillows and even the mattress. It was soft and warm and so incredibly comfy. The sheets were orange, but the comforter was black, which was odd considering the colors of the rest of the room. But it was kind of nice at the same time. The sunlight that woke me came through the small crack between the heavy orange curtains covering the large window which overlooked the bay the city was built around.

Despite the comfiness of my current location, my mind was screaming at me to escape before he realized I was awake. I had no idea where I was, or how to go about procuring my freedom, but I knew a quick way to find out. Crawling out of my perfectly nice cocoon, I stood shakily before groaning and stretching. Realizing that I was still naked, I debated my next move… but, man… that was an amazing sleep! Deciding, I carefully stumbled towards the window and threw the curtains open, only to immediately slam them shut again as a searing pain blossomed across my chest and stomach. I only barely managed to stifle a scream of agony as I staggered back, clutching my abdomen. Stumbling across the room, I threw open the door to the bathroom and collapsed onto the floor. The cool marble – marble! – soothed the burning pain in my chest and stomach, and within a few minutes, I was able to stand and look at myself in the mirror. Three dark and marks seemed to be seared into my body. There was one on my forehead, where I hadn't felt any pain, that looked suspiciously like a kanji symbol. It was a dark red color, like drying bood. On my chest was an ornate triangle with curved lines coming out of the sides and a straight line coming out of the bottom. My stomach had an exceptionally more elaborate design on it that seemed to center on a spiral curling around my navel. Gingerly, I poked the mark on my stomach and found that it was not paint. In fact, it seemed to be fading slowly as I watched it.

Looking at myself in the mirror revealed something else – something significantly more terrifying. My nether regions were coated in blood, with more strange signs… wait, no… they were English… Property of… Naruto? Do not… Oh… oh my…

"Hehehe… You know, that color of blush normally doesn't occur without some suffocation involved…" a playful voice broke the silence of the room. My brilliant blush drained instantly, leaving my face incredibly pale as I turned to face my abductor. The blond demon was grinning at me with that beautiful smile of his… damn it, why was he so… damn…

Slowly, it dawned on me that I was naked in his bathroom, and he was grinning like the cat that stole the cream. I nervously backed away from him, a reaction that caused him to laugh. "I see you saw my warnings. Well, just so you know, those don't apply to you. You can lick, suck, stroke, or milk yourself all you want… as long as I get to watch, 'kay?" he said as he stepped up to the counter I just abandoned. Opening his mouth, he pulled a toothbrush out of a drawer, applied a liberal amount of paste to it, and began brushing his teeth. Something about a flesh eating, soul sucking demon doing something so mundane as brushing his teeth seemed to be my snapping point. Madly, I lashed out at him with my fist, smashing it into his face. Stunned, he dropped his toothbrush and stumbled back, bashing his head against the door before collapsing on the floor with a strange gurgle. A pool of dark red blood started to pool beneath his head, soaking into and darkening his golden locks. Stunned, I stared at unconscious… dead? Was he dead? Did… did I kill him? Oh God!

"Ah… Hey… you're okay, right?" I gently nudged his foot with mine. "You're okay,yeah? Hey… g-get up… you're a demon. You can't die… you're… can you?" Suddenly, the amount of blood pooling around his head seemed far more than what was safe to lose. Panicking, I grabbed one of the black towels sitting on the marble counter and tried to sop up some of the dark red fluid. The metallic scent of blood seemed to fill the air, and I desperately tried to staunch the bleeding. Demon or not… I didn't want to be responsible for a life ending… Panicking, I rubbed my hands together in a frantic prayer before covered my mouth with my hands as I felt bile rising in my throat. I forced myself to calm down, and, licking my lips, I cringed when I tasted his blood on them. It was significantly more metallic than my own, with a strange sour taste, and left my tongue feeling slightly numb. Cringing, I ignored it and continued working on him.

The towel did a good job cleaning up the blood that had already escaped, and another towel made a handy pillow for his head. A bruise was blooming across his face from where I punched him. It was funny, really. He really was just absolutely beautiful. Even in his unconscious – he HAD to be unconscious, he couldn't be dead! – state, there was a soft smile painted on his face. His mouth was slightly open, and his pearly-white, dangerously sharp teeth glinted in the low light of the room. Nervously, I stood and cut the lights on. I swear, this man never wore shirts. Only a pair of loose gym shorts covered his frame, and for the first time since I met him, I was able to actually appreciate his physical beauty. His skin was nicely tanned, and there wasn't a centimeter of fat on his form. He had a slight sheen of sweat on his skin from whatever he was doing before he came in here. A spiral tattoo that looked much like the image on my stomach rippled across his firm and muscular abdomen. Staring at it, I let out a shaky gasp of joy as I realized his stomach was rising and falling slowly. He was alive!

Carefully, I checked the towel under his head. The bleeding had stopped, so I removed the towel and slowly moved him towards the shower to clean the blood off of him. Cutting the water on, I adjusted the temperature so that it was warm, then moved him slowly to the shower. Blushing, I nervously pulled his shorts down, diverting my gaze from his manhood… demonhood… whatever. Then, cautiously, I pulled his head under the water flow, being sure to keep his nose clear. I gently washed the blood out of his hair, marveling at how soft the silky blonde locks were. Surprisingly, there didn't seem to be any cut or scrape on his scalp. Eventually, the last of his dark blood ran down the drain, and I cut the water off. Slowly, I dried the blond mane before pulling the rest of his body into the shower. Pulling down the detachable showerhead down, I rinsed the rest of the blood from his back, as well as the dried blood around my groin.

Finally, I dried his body and wrapped towel around his waist. "Alright… We can do this… We just need to get him to the bed…" I tried to pick him up, but he was really heavy. So, I draped his arm over my back and sort of dragged him to the bed. Taking exceptional care, I gently arranged his unconscious form on the bed. Pulling the computer chair away from the desk, I settled in next to him and prayed to any god that he'd wake up. Just because he was breathing didn't mean he was going to live.

++++Naruto's POV++++

"Fifty-seven… Fifty-eight… Fifty-nine… Sixty… Sixty-one – fuck!" I hissed as a sharp pain exploded in my head. I released my ankle hold on the bar I was doing sit ups on, and dropped to the floor. "Looks like my toy's up…" I murmured as I stretched my muscles and began my cool-down period. Grabbing one of my workout towels, I rubbed my hair down and dropped the towel in the laundry bin by the door in my workout studio.

Grabbing a protein bar, I chewed on it as I made my way through my apartment to the bedroom. He'd be confused and afraid… perfectly understandable, really… I just had to be cool about it. Stretching my jaw, I sighed as I felt a pop. Picking at my teeth with my tongue, I groaned. Man, these damn bars kept getting pieces lodged in my teeth…

Deciding that a good polishing was in order for my pearlies, I slipped into the bathroom connected to my room, only to find my intended target staring at his sexy body in the mirror – couldn't blame him… it was a fantastically sexy body… though… just a touch skinnier than someone his age and height should be… I'd have to work on that. The look on his face was priceless. At first, he was confused about my marks. Then he started reading my little notes on his junk… and his face was so priceless! Oh man, that color red was… wow…

"Hehehe… You know, that color of blush normally doesn't occur without some suffocation involved…" I chuckled as I moved towards the counter. I pulled my toothbrush from out of its usual place and smeared a good amount of minty paste on it. With a slightly exaggerated 'ah', I started scrubbing at those pesky grains that were trapped between my teeth.

About half-way through my brushing routine, a surprisingly strong blow smashed into my face, sending my toothbrush flying into a sink and me reeling backwards. My footing slipped, and the last thing I felt was my skull smashing against the door. The faintest hint of concern flashed across that angelic face as my world went black.

++++Gaara's POV++++

I hadn't moved since I put him on the bed. He really wasn't unattractive, and he seemed friendly. To be honest, maybe I was wrong about him being a demon. Maybe I was wrong about the whole thing. Seriously, demons? What was I thinking? Whatever he gave me at the club… I probably passed out and he brought me here. And how did I repay him? By killing him! God… I'm a scumbag!

Wait… what about that blood on my… and… well… his blood was a lot darker than a normal person's. And… hey! He hypnotized me! He's a demon, damn it! Why did I feel this way…

Groaning, I stretched in the chair. He said he was going to devour me… well, rape me, at least. But he didn't seem too bad. He obviously didn't do anything untoward while I was asleep… I didn't feel any pain down there, and all the stuff I'd read said I'd be limping afterwards…

As I settled down, I noticed his breathing had changed. A few seconds later, he sat up and emitted the most fiendish screech I'd ever heard in my life. I screamed myself, and nearly pissed the towel I had wrapped around my nude form. His head snapped towards me and I screamed again.

"Damn, you're a screamer alright… calm down, no need to scream like I'm killing you…" he said, a goofy grin blooming across his face. Groggily, he rubbed the back of his head and laughed. "Man… your punch was one thing, but that door was a doozie!" Standing, he quickly discarded the towel and stretched, giving me a glorious view of his full nude form. I averted my eyes after a second of staring. He chuckled.

"That's cute… I've been naked around you since… well, a few minutes after we met. And, if memory serves, I was in my gym shorts before I fell, you naughty boy you…" he winked at me.

"I-I-I ah… I washed your hair and didn't want to get your pants wet… I'm sorry… I mean… wait!" I stuttered stupidly. The look he gave me was a mix of amusement and desire. I blushed. This man was… I'd never blushed this much in my life!

The blonde demon stretched and yawned. "Hope you don't mind, but I've got to… well… just don't scream, okay?" I was about to ask what he was talking about when he suddenly burst into flames. Not normal fire, though… black flames. The fire licked at his skin before slowly seeping back into the strange spiral on his stomach. He turned so that his back was to me, and I gasped. He had a tail! A real tail… and… what where those little nubs on his forehead? Were those…HORNS! I yelped. He laughed.

"Yeah… it's… a bit of a shocker. Don't worry, I'll put them away in a bit. It's just… you did a bit of damage to me, and this is the quickest way to heal it," he explained as the tail hanging just slightly above his ankles suddenly flicked towards me playfully before coiling around his waist. He patted it fondly. "Trust me, you'll get used to it. So, are you hungry?" he asked as he turned away from me and started digging through his dresser. A pair of boxers and a plain white t-shirt sailed over his head and landed neatly in my lap. Turning, he did the awkward flamingo as he tugged his own form-fitting orange briefs on, taking extra care to tuck his tail around the waistband. "Figured you'd want to cover up, being all modest like you are… don't get me wrong, I love the view. But… if you're going to keep smashing my skull every time I see you naked, I'd rather just let you wear some clothes." I pulled the clothes on, noting that the boxers were a bit larger than I could wear without feeling a little exposed.

He turned towards me and smirked before scratching the back of his head. "Not bad… kinda makes you look like a sexy abandoned kitty… The kind of kitty I love taking care of… " he laughed. "So, if you don't mind, I'm going to order Japanese. Any preferences?" he asked as he turned towards the bathroom. He whistled loudly as he saw the state it was in. "Wow! That's bad… pretty impressive I was only out for a few minutes, really… No way! Is that… man, check this out!" he leaned down and pulled something off of the edge of the door, right wear his head hit. Nervously, I stood and went to look at what he was showing me.

In his hand was a piece of… stuff. "What is that?" I blurted out. He laughed.

"That, my little psychopath-in-training, is a piece of either my parietal or occipital lobe! You're lucky I'm so powerful, or I'd be comatose for weeks rebuilding the damage your little stunt caused. By the way…" his eyes narrowed, "I'm going to have to teach you how to fight. Can't have you throwing sissy punches like that when another demon tries to ravish you…" Suddenly, everything clicked back into place.

"Y-y-you're a real demon! Oh man… does that mean you're going to eat my soul? I don't want to die… Please, can I just go home? I won't tell anyone anything, I swear!" I pleaded with him. I realized that the only chance I had to escaped I had wasted on making sure he was alive.

"Huh… you're a nurturer, you know that? You completely forgot about me being a demon, threatening to rape you, and even mesmerizing you once you saw I was hurt… that's sweet! Just for that, I'm going to be 100% completely honest with you! I'm starved!" he turned and walked out of the bathroom by the same door he originally entered through. Glancing back into the bedroom, I nervously followed him. When I caught up to him, he was talking on the phone.

"Hey, Sai! Yeah, I'm fine. Yeah… what, about a week? Seriously? Three weeks? No way! I've just been so caught up with the club and the label… yeah, I know… sorry about that… yeah… well, speaking of which, I caught this new tasty treat and let me tell you. He… is… gorgeous. He's a total uke. Blushes constantly, slim and slender, blood red hair – not dyed, either! Seriously! He even has this totally yummy looking dusting of a happy trail that's the exact same color!... What do you mean why am I calling you? Can't I just chat? Yeah… Yeah… well… Yeah… But… Yeah… I know… Look, he gave me a bit of a shock and I fell, okay? Burned a lot of energy replacing the chunk of brain the bathroom door took out of me. Uh huh… okay… yeah… well, he's too young, that's why! Yes I'm sure! You know my rule, if it's not eighteen, I don't touch it! No, not even once. Damn it Sai, will you just send something over? Uh huh… yeah… ah, do you have any Japanese? Yeah…. Aw… that's a shame… Ooooh… Hawaiian… that sounds nice… oh yeah, I'll take that. And um… could I get two order of seasame chicken with it, please?" he glanced at me, "Make that two orders of seasame chicken, some fried rice, some egg rolls, and an order of fried dumplings. I've got to get this one a little healthier. He looks like he's going to die of starvation!... Fifteen minutes? Ah… uncut, please, you know I like 'em natural. Hehe… thanks, you're amazing Sai. Yeah… Don't worry, Kiba's been frisky lately, I'll send him your way. Yes… of course… well, he is my puppy… alright, I'll see you later, man. Thanks! Bye!" He gently placed the receiver back into its cradle and smiled.

"Lunch is on the way. I hope you don't mind, but… I'm going to stuff you until you look a little healthier, okay?" he asked as he walked past the counter and into the kitchen proper. Opening the fridge, he rifled around for a few minutes before tossing something at me. I instinctively caught the bottle and couldn't help but smile a bit. Ramune soda, melon flavored.

"You know how to open those, don't you?" he asked as he smashed his own marble into the bottle. I nodded slowly and popped my marble.

"So, let's go sit somewhere comfy and talk, alright? Living room's this way," he placed a hand on my shoulder and guided me into a nicely decorated room. The walls had more formal framed posters of big-time venues and concerts, as well as a solid wall of windows overlooking the city. I winced as I remembered the pain the sunlight caused when I woke earlier this morning, and he noticed. "Don't worry. These windows are light shielded. They won't aggravate the marks. Here, sit," he plopped down on a really plush-looking couch and yanked me down with him, so that I fell neatly in his lap. I tried to get off, but he held me there comfortably and laughed. "You're going to need to get used to this. I'm really touchy-feely. Just relax. I'm not going to hurt you. I promise." He carefully rearranged us so that we were more comfortable positioned, then took my hand holding the soda and pulled it gently to my face. "Again, I didn't even touch this one. Why don't you drink around me, huh?"

I obediently sipped at the melon-flavored soda and nervously glanced at him. He smiled. "Right, explanations! Or… introductions… yeah, I think those are best first. Alright, I'll go first. My name is Uzamaki Naruto. I'm a demon of Japanese descent, hence the name, and I have a grand total of nine tails – that means I'm really, really, really powerful. My element is wind, but I'm really comfy with fire, and my best abilities include healing and manipulation. I'm strongly bi-sexual, but prefer the flavor of men over women most of the time, and I really, really like red heads. Oh, and I almost forgot… My demonic type is vampire, so… I bite!"

You have to give me credit. I sat through his entire explanation and absorbed the entirely of what he was telling me. His parents or someone in his family was from Japan, and that's where he got his demonic heritage from. He had nine tails. Each tail represented a new tier of demonic power, and he had the highest number I'd ever come across before. He was associated with the wind element, which meant he was easy going and carefree, but he was also associated with the fire element, meaning he was powerful and destructive. The bisexual part was… interesting to know but not really important, though the red head thing kind of worried me. As for his demonic type? No idea. But, I knew enough to know this: I was fucked.

"Naruto, was it? Can I call you that? Look, I really don't want any trouble. I'm not a troublemaker. I just want to go home, please. I know it's cliché, but I promise I won't tell anyone anything about you or your people. Please, please let me go. Please?" I put as much sincerity into my plea as I could muster. His smile, however, both frightened and confused me.

"I can't. I marked you as mine last night in the club. Those marks on your skin, those are my possession marks. No one can touch you without my permission. But, they also act as tethers to keep you bound to me. Eventually, they'll fade, and you'll be free to go. But I don't think you'll want to by then. After all, you're almost 18, right? I'm going to totally change your view of the world when you hit that magic number. Sorry, but you belong to me now, little Red," he smiled softly and leaned down to nuzzle the top of my head. Something clicked in my mind as he nuzzled.

"Y-you said your name was Uzamaki Naruto, right?" I asked. Something about that name was familiar. "Why do I know that name?"

"Well, I don't think you'd really know much about me, but besides being a demon with all of those wonderful characteristics, I'm also a member of the Namikaze Group, and do a lot of work in the music industry with legal issues, and I'm the owner of The Den, the lovely establishment that we met in. So… yeah. Unless you follow the music industry or clubbing – neither of which seem to be number one on your list of interests – you probably shouldn't."

I shook my head and squirmed, trying to look him in the eye. Eventually, he stilled and allowed me to shift so that I was sitting in his lap facing him. "I know your name from somewhere… Why?"

"Considering you were able to trick Kiba into thinking you were a demon, I'm guessing you did a little research on us, right? Maybe my name popped up then. I'm pretty big in the demon circles, you know…" he smirked before leaning in and rubbing his nose against mine. I blushed again before snapping.

"D-don't do that! I'm not some kind of cuddle toy! I'm a person, damn it! And I am NOT A UKE!" I slammed my fist into his chest several times before my rage finally died down. It was weird. I wanted to leave – really, I did! – but… something about sitting here with him like this felt… right. I hazarded a glance at him once I'd calmed down, and he was smiling softly.

"That's so cute… but I hate to break it to you… you're totally a uke. Blushing virgin style and all. Seriously, though… we're going to have to work on building you up… Those punches were… well, actually, they were a pretty nice massage… might have you do that again later… Hey! Come to think of it, I need to ask you a few questions and I don't won't to offend you… so we'll do this the easy way," he gripped my face in between his warm hands and forced me to lock eyes with him. The strange purplish glow started pulsing from his irises, and I felt totally relaxed.

"What's your name, little Red?" he asked. A perfectly harmless question. No idea why he was holding me like this.

"Gaara… my name is Gaara."

"That's a cool name… but what's your last name, Gaara?" he asked. Again, a perfectly harmless question. I didn't see what the big deal was about this – why would they offend me? Of course… I really didn't have much to tell him…

"Sabaku. Gaara Sabaku… But… that's not my real name… My dad didn't sign my birth certificate and my mom died in childbirth before she could tell them hers, so the hospital assigned me one…" Why did I tell him that?

"Aw… that's sad… I'm sorry your dad was an asshole… speaking of family, do you have any siblings, or anyone who would miss you?" Okay, now that one was creepy. If I said no, gods know what he might do…

"Yes, but they won't miss me. Kankuro hates me almost as much as I hate him, and Temari's off in her own little perfect world. My dad kicked me out, so I got an apartment in the court district. I don't have a roommate, and I only see people every few days or so, so no one would miss me…" Oh God… what did I just… but… no, why did I… That bastard! He's hypnotized me again! No! I have to fight it…

"Shh… it's okay Gaara. I'm your friend. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm actually kind of sad we met under these conditions… I wish we'd have met sooner, really. I'd have been the best friend you'd ever have… maybe we could have gotten to this point more naturally. Thank you for being honest with me, Gaara. I'm going to let you go now, okay? I think lunch is almost here, and I'm starving. You can watch if you want, but it'll get pretty… messy." He gently released my head and I blinked slowly. How did he… wait, what?

"What? What do you mean messy? Are… are you going to kill the delivery guy!" I shouted, causing him to wince and gently cover my mouth.

"Gaara… I'm not a dem- wait, yes I am. But, I'm not a heartless monster. See," He grabbed my hand and pressed it against his chest. I felt a steady, though rather unusual beat. "I have a heart! But, more importantly, I don't thrive off of death and carnage like some of the demons you've probably read about. I told you… my demonic type is vampire. I feed off of the life-force of others. Now, the young man coming over isn't really a delivery guy – well, he is but he's not a Chinese food delivery guy. He's bringing food for you and himself for me, got it? I'll take what I need, let him recoup here, and he'll be on his merry way, several thousand richer. And, might I add, exceptionally sated."

Almost as if he'd conjured his victim, a soft 'ding-dong' echoed through the apartment. Naruto gently moved me from his lap – I weigh 125 pounds! He shouldn't be so strong! – to the seat next to him before standing and going to the door. Something in me instantly missed the warmth that his body provided. Something else was currently screeching at that something about how stupid it was to crave a demon. Naruto returned a few minutes later with the delivery guy.

He was about medium height – about an inch taller than me. He had a nice build and surfer-tan skin. His hair was black and he obviously had some Asian descent. He was carrying a bag full of delicious smelling food, and nervously glanced around the apartment before his eyes landed on me. He nodded slightly before turning back to Naruto.

"So, is the chicken for 'im or you?" he asked with a strange accent. Naruto smiled his sneaky smile and nodded towards me. The stranger placed the food on the coffee table in front of the couch before turning back to Naruto. "I take it I'm for you, then?"

"Mmmhmm… and, might I say, you are a delicious looking morsel. Shall we take this somewhere more comfortable?" he motioned for the guy to walk in front of him. "Bedroom's on the left. Damn, you've got a nice ass…" Naruto turned his head and motioned for me to follow. Not wanting to witness what was about to happen to the guy, I shook my head frantically. He smiled and shrugged before following.

Moments later, I heard shocked gasps followed by loud moans. Apparently… someone was good at what they were doing… Deciding to ignore it and get some nourishment into my system before I tried to make my escape (I was going to escape, damn it!), I opened the large brown paper bag and began removing containers. The food was delivered in more than generous amounts – two big black pans of chicken and an equally large pan of dumplings. Two cartons of fried rice, two cartons of white rice, and a thousand packets of soy sauce later, I was finally ready to eat.

Despite my situation, I was particularly hungry. It had been over… I checked a clock over the kitchen counter… almost three… huh… eighteen hours since I last ate… wow… I dug into the chicken with relish, pausing only to shovel in balls of tasty white rice and wash down it with sips of cold melon soda. A loud scream about fifteen minutes after the delivery guy arrived startled me enough to make me drop the chopsticks I was about use to shovel in more rice. A shower started up, and a few minutes later, the was a soft sigh as my blond captor saunters out of the hallway in nothing but a towel… around his shoulders.

"Delicious… can't get enough of that special sauce, man… oh, is there any chicken left?" I blinked slowly at him, but because of his naked state – I'd gotten used to it by now – but because of the fluid leaking out of the corner of his mouth.

"You… ah… have some… blood on the corner of your mouth?" I offered lamely. He grinned and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Thanks! Thought I washed it all off… but I guess I missed a spot. Bloodplay can get messy… Pass the dumplings?" he asked as he plopped onto the couch next to me. I swallowed heavily and handed the pan over to him.

"Is he… is he… dead?" I asked nervously. Naruto snickered and shook his head.

"Nah! Tasty dish like that's too hard to find just to kill. I did half and half, so he'll be waking up sooner or later," he casted a glance and me before sighing.

"We're going to have to get on the same page sooner or later. When I say half and half, I mean I fed on two energies. Like I told you, I'm a vampire type demon. I feed on the life force of other. Most people associate that with blood and drinking and killing and turning into vampires and rising form the dead and all that creepy stuff – totally bullshit, by the way, you don't just turn into a vampire – anyway… where was I? Oh yeah… well, people also call some demons succubae and incubi because they feed on the sexual energies of humans. Well, blood feeders and sex feeders are the same thing – we get the same nourishment from either act. Sexual energy and life energy two forms of the same energy – life energy, that's blood, sustains the body. Sexual energy revives it. That's why sex is so great! Like, really really great! But, anyway, normally, in order to repair the amount of damage you caused me, I'd have to either drain a man dry or have a nice orgy. Since I was too impatient for the orgy and didn't want to deal with the dead body, I split the difference. Milked his balls dry with a few of my devilish tricks, then took a few sips of blood to meet the rest of the quota. He's resting now and will be perfectly fine in a few hours. Aside from a limp." He took a huge bite out of a dumpling.

"Then why are you eating? I mean, you just… ah… ate?" I asked. Really, I didn't want to know any of this… I just wanted to go home. But… I couldn't. It had to be those damn marks he put on me… I couldn't even envision myself leaving right now…

"Because, Chinese food is awesome!" he replied with a mini fistbump to his dumpling. I couldn't suppress the snicker that slipped out. He turned his incessantly smiling face towards me and grinned. "I knew you had a sense of humor in there somewhere… nice to see it isn't dead."

My amusement died down instantly, and I bitterly snapped back, "Well, when my future prospects are either demon sex slave against my will or dead body in the bay, I don't have much to laugh about, do I?"

That was… not smart of me to say. Almost as soon as I realized I said it, I regretted it. He was going to hurt me now. Seriously. He might even kill me. Just because I couldn't keep my sarcastic ass-itude in check.

Surprisingly, his retaliation wasn't swift or harsh. He finished his dumpling, and another, before finally speaking. "You… forfeited your life the second you entered our domain. That's part of an ancient pact your ancestors made with us. You would stay out of places we called our own, and we would leave you alone. You don't realize how lucky you were that I caught you before someone else did. I'm a demon with strict rules. Most of the others in The Den are beasts or worst. They would have literally eaten your flesh while they raped you. Over and over. Healing you just enough to keep you alive until they were fully satisfied with you. And since we're never really, fully satisfied… you'd have lived like that for decades before they finally grew tired of you. So I'm sorry if you don't like what's happened… but you belong to me now. Deal with it. Like I said, I'm not heartless. I won't hurt you. But, I will have you. Now, I have some work I have to do. There's plenty of stuff to entertain you in here, or in my bedroom, including Koji. No fucking, though, got it? That cherry's mine. I'll be in my office. Just… don't try to run. I'll find you, but it might not be before someone else does."

Naruto stood and stretched, releasing a series of groans and loud pops. Turning, he walked down a hall opposite the one leading to the bedroom, and with that, I was left alone.

++++Naruto's POV++++

I walked out of the bedroom and placed a quick call to Sai for some delivery. After a good five minutes of just trying to get past his playful insults and "clever puns" as he called them, I finally managed to place a quick order for a tasty-sounding Hawaiian dude and some food for my new pet. My newest acquisition was standing close by and being incredibly sexy worrying his bottom lip between his teeth and nervously glancing at me. I grinned when he realized I'd seen him and altered the food order so that I could get a little more into him. This kid looked like he hadn't eaten a full meal in years!

I took my pet to the couch after tossing him a soda and settled us both down comfortable. At first, he didn't like the idea of sitting in my lap, but he got used to it. I began to explain what had happened and to properly introduce myself to him when a thought occurred. I had no idea who this kid was or who would miss him. He might cause me a lot more problems than his incredibly sexy ass was worth… Gripping his face, I decided to put him under a low level hypnosis to find out if he was going to cause problems.

He really was too cute with that confused look on his face. A very pale eyebrow was quirked slightly as I asked my first question. "What's your name, little Red?" Always had to start with non-demanding questions or they'd realize they were being mesmerized and would try to fight it. By the time he realized it, it'd be too late now. He smile faintly – just barely, but enough to let me know that he was under – and replied.

"Gaara… my name is Gaara."

That was a pretty name… can't tell him that, or he'd get all hissy about it… but what was his last name? Probably should have asked him his full name… oh well. "That's a cool name… but what's your last name, Gaara?" Shouldn't seem that dangerous to him, but I laced in subliminal suggestions to tell me everything he'd need to about his name this time. It paid off with a wealth of information.

"Sabaku. Gaara Sabaku… But… that's not my real name… My dad didn't sign my birth certificate and my mom died in childbirth before she could tell them hers, so the hospital assigned me one…"

That… was kind of sad… I hate to hear about kids being neglected… no wonder he reminded me of an abandoned kitty… he was one! I smiled softly at him. Not to worry. I'm going to take real good care of you.

"Aw… that's sad… I'm sorry your dad was an asshole… speaking of family, do you have any siblings, or anyone who would miss you?" He was deep enough now that he couldn't lie if he wanted to. No need to play softball anymore.

"Yes, but they won't miss me. Kankuro hates me almost as much as I hate him, and Temari's off in her own little perfect world. My dad kicked me out, so I got an apartment in the court district. I don't have a roommate, and I only see people every few days or so, so no one would miss me…"

Damn! That's just… way too fucking convenient! This kid was sexy as fuck, totally isolated from his living family, lived in a heavily overcrowded district so that no one really saw him or would notice his absence… Fuck, this was too good to be true.

A slight twinge in my head told me he was starting to struggle against my control. I smiled softly at him. "Shh… it's okay Gaara. I'm your friend. I'm not going to hurt you." Total truth right there.

"I'm actually kind of sad we met under these conditions… I wish we'd have met sooner, really. I'd have been the best friend you'd ever have… maybe we could have gotten to this point more naturally." Again, total truth… I really did wish we'd met under different circumstances. I could have eased him into his new role, and he wouldn't have to be floundering around in the crash course that he just got shoved into.

"Thank you for being honest with me, Gaara. I'm going to let you go now, okay? I think lunch is almost here, and I'm starving. You can watch if you want, but it'll get pretty… messy." I extended an offer for him to see what I did. I image he wouldn't want to, but it didn't hurt offering.

After a few minutes of explaining that I wasn't going to kill the guy and that he was going to be perfectly fine and very happy when he left, the doorbell announced his arrival. Starved, I moved Gaara off of my lap and stood to make my way to the door, chuckling slightly at the smallest hint of disappointment my pet radiated when I separated us. Opening the door, one of the sexiest boys Sai'd ever hired was standing there with a bag of Chinese food. His hair was in short black spikes and he had warm olive colored eyes. His skin was nicely tanned and he obviously did a little work in the gym. The shorts he was wearing had just the slightest tent in them, telling me that Sai had prepared him for my entertainment. I smirked at him and stepped aside to let him in.

"So, is the chicken for 'im or you?" he asked in his sexy accent. I'd have to scold Sai later. He said he was Hawaiian, but his accent suggested Californian… not that that changed much. I smiled and nodded towards Gaara, who was trying – not too successfully, mind you – to slyly check my lunch out. I grinned at him.

"I take it I'm for you, then?" he asked me, a playful smile already spreading across his face. Oh, I liked this one…

""Mmmhmm… and, might I say, you are a delicious looking morsel. Shall we take this somewhere more comfortable?" I pointed to the bedroom hallway and he started down it. "Bedroom's on the left and… Damn, you've got a nice ass…" Nice bubble butt… couldn't wait to play with that one… I turned and offered one last time for Gaara to watch, but he frantically shook his head no. I shrugged. Made no difference to me. He'd be in this guy's place pretty soon, anyway.

Quietly, I closed the door behind myself as I followed my lunch into the bedroom. "So, I've suffered quite a bad blow, as you can see in the bathroom." His eyes glanced over towards the bathroom, and to his credit, he didn't even pale. "So, I'm going to need a bit more than your… natural production can offer me. Do you understand what I mean?"

He nodded calmly and undid his jacket, throwing it on the ground behind him. Stretching, he peeled off his green t-shirt before making swift work of his pants. I grinned when I saw he'd gone commando for his job. His delicious body was fully exposed to me now, and I cursed Sai for already marking this one – Sai's slender mark wound its way around his bicep, proclaiming to all demons that this boy was his. And, unfortunately, it was a permanent mark… this boy must have consented to Sai's dominance… lucky bastard Sai…

"So… how do you wanna…" he trailed off, glancing at the bed with just the slightest hint of nervousnous. I smiled.

"Don't worry… I'm not going to kill you, you should know that… Sai sent you after all. Tell me, what's your typical position?" Judging by his looks, this suferboy was a top. One of my favorite sounds was a diehard top begging to be pounded into the mattress. God help me if Sai sent me a top…

"I, ah… top. Never really been into bottoming…"

… I was going to send him the biggest Christmas present ever. What? We celebrate it too, ya know…

"Well, I'm sorry to tell you but you'll be bottoming today. Get on the bed, doggiestyle."

A curious look passed over his face before he nodded slowly and assumed my commanded position. Walking to my bedside table, I opened the drawer and removed a tube of special lubricant, one which I had to custom order. Grinning, I returned to the tasty ass being so willingly presented to me. Really, it was spectacularly shaped. Muscle-tonned, with just a little plumpness to it. I gave it a few appreciative smacks, which earned me some playful yelps.

"So, tell me," I said as I began to knead his cheeks, "how often have you actually bottomed?"

"Ah… twice… My first time was with another servant of Master Sai… He wanted me to show him a good time while he watched… The other was when I was fifteen, with my first boyfriend… he didn't like topping, I didn't like bottoming… It hurt like hell…" he groaned as I spread his cheeks and blew a warm puff of air on the rosebud nestled between them.

"Well," I slicked a finger in my special lubricant and gently rubbed it around his ring, earning me a yelp and whimper, "I can promise you, I'll make sure you enjoy this one… relax now, I'm adding the second finger." Carefully, I stretched and kneaded his ring, playfully blowing warm puffs of air on it to speed along the lubricant's effect. He turned his head back towards me and gasped.

"W-what… ah… that feels…weird…" His face was flushed, and his eyes were hazy… perfect. I added the third finger. Blushing like the sweet little bottom he'd become, he dropped his head into the comforter and groaned. Working diligently, I dug into his channel, searching for…

"God damn!" he yelped as my finger brushed his prostate. I grinned as he started twitching and squirming, causing his pleasure bead to rub against my fingers again and again. Pulling my fingers out, I added a dab more gel to them then drove them back into him, coating the area around his prostate thoroughly. He yelped as the warming and tingling compounds took effect. His entire passage was on fire in a pleasant manner. I stepped back and admired my handiwork. His perfect ass was up in the air, legs spread so that his tasty cock dangled with his sizable sack. A slow, steady dribble of clear precum started to ooze from the tip of his unsheathed cock. Placing my hands on his ass, I directed him to spread his legs a bit wider so that I could slid under him. My head placed soundly below his drooling manhood, I pulled out my most wicked and sinful trick. Slowly, my tail uncurled from my waist and snaked up his leg. Finding his prepared hole, I plunged it in, allowing the slightly blunt tip to grind furiously against his prostate. I thrust my tail into his warm depths over and over again, earning me healthy gushes of precum and hearty moans. I milked his prostate furiously, earning me health amounts of precum without actually causing his orgasm. His pre was a salty and satisfying texture, but I was significantly more hungry than simple pre could satisfy.

"Hold on tight… I'm about to milk you dry sexy…" Grinning, I slide my tail deeper into his cavity, earning a loud moan. Leaning up, I slide my tongue into his foreskin, swirling it around the partially exposed head. His screams of ecstasy were music to my ears. Within moments, a thick and bitter gush of masculinity flooded my mouth, feeding the impossibly strong hunger in my belly. The thick, rich goo gushed into my mouth, but being human, the load size was so very insignificant compared to my hunger. It would take several more to slate my thirst slightly.

I set my mine to it, and within a matter of minutes, the boy was shooting blanks. Releasing his spent member, I slid out from under him, savoring the last remains of his potent man sauce. Deciding to take my final course from the boy, I gently pushed him over. His face was flush and his eyes were heavily weighted. His mouth hung open, and his pink tongue flicked out nervously. He babbled softly, but none of his words went together. I grinned.

"What's your name, sexy?" I asked as I licked my lips, enjoying the slightest taste of his juice.

"Ka… ko… ah… uh… mmm… I… umm…" he babbled. I leaned down and nuzzled his neck while tweaking his nipples.

"Tell me your name and I'll give you what you want…" I teased as I positioned myself over him. His eyes cleared slightly.

"Wha-what?" he stuttered as I gently rubbed my own member against his entrance. I smiled and nipped his nipple before licking the offended nub. He moaned softly and pressed down on my shaft. I'd loosened him up enough to where my head just barely nudged its way into his body, earning a soft groan.

"C'mon… tell me your name, sexy… tell me your name and beg for it..." I whispered in his ear.

"K-Koji! Ah… please…" he gasped. I grinned and licked his ear.

"Beg Koji… beg for my big, hard cock to plough your tight sweet ass… beg for my cock to make you the bottom you want to be… beg to be a bitch, Koji… c'mon… beg…" I pressed a bit firmer and pulled back, simulating me fucking him… his face was a contortion of pain caused by pleasure. I loved it.

To say he was a diehard top, he broke down very easily – but, that might have been my skill. "P-please! Please, M-master Naruto… Please… I… want… need… it…"

"What do you need, Koji?"

"T-to be… to be your bitch… to feel your c-cock… in my ass… please… make me your bitch… I need you inside me…" He gasped loudly as I buried myself deep in his passage. His loud groans and gasps were music to my ear as I turned his sweet ass into my pleasure hole. His hands flew to my back and clawed at me as I ground into him, driving him into new states of euphoria. His mouth was open in a permanent gasp of pleasure as I worshiped his body with mine.

Deciding to take this to an entirely new level of pleasure, I carefully lubed my tail up with the gel – all while thrusting into him – I decided to entertain myself, to make sure I gave him the most I could offer. Sliding my tail into my body as I'd done countless times before, I immediately targeted my own prostate, driving my own pleasure to new heights.

After a good half hour or so, he was sobbing into my chest, begging me to make the pleasure stop. Hypersensitive, he was completely unaware of my fangs sinking into his neck, just at the base, to drain a healthy amount of his life fluid to compensate for the lack of sexual fluids he had to offer. Moments later, I filled him with my own liquid offering. His tightness wasn't demonic, so it wasn't capable of holding all my seed – especially with the milking I'd put myself thorugh. Grinning as I pulled out, I scooped up several thick globs of sperm and pushed my fingers into his mouth. Barely conscious, he obediently suckled my mansauce from my fingers. I repeated his until he stopped leaking my potency. I hated, more than anything else, to see my seed go to waste. Of course… being slightly narcissistic and having somewhat savory semen (so I've been told) added to that… It was actually more impressive when a guy spit instead of swallowed. Contented and well-fed, I carefully wiped the last traces of my essence from his pert cheeks and tucked him into my bed to let him recuperate. Licking my fingers, I grinned. Excellent meal, my compliments to the chef!

Deciding that I was grungy enough for a third shower (this morning's shower seemed so… long ago and Gaara's was really only a rinse down), I quickly washed my flesh of the sinful residue left on it before cleaning the bathroom and trashing the blood soaked towels. Draping a towel around my neck to catch any water dripping from my hair, I strode out into the hallway after checking on my well-resting companion.

Gaara was sitting on the couch, a chopstick dangling from his lips. Nervously, he asked if I'd killed the boy. Really, it was quite cute the way he blushed about it. After assuring him that Koji was perfectly find and would be waking up in a little while, and throwing in a few comments about my sexual prowess, I chomped down on some dumplings.

"Then why are you eating? I mean, you just… ah… ate?" he asked me. I chuckled as he obviously didn't mean to ask the question out loud.

"Because, Chinese food is awesome!" It's the truth. I fist bumped my dumpling to congratulate it on being awesome. His soft chuckle was a bit of a reward that I didn't expect. Turning towards him, I grinned. "I knew you had a sense of humor in there somewhere… nice to see it isn't dead."

His face instantly darkened and he snapped at me, "Well, when my future prospects are either demon sex slave against my will or dead body in the bay, I don't have much to laugh about, do I?" How dare this little bastard... Then, suddenly, I realized what he'd been going through. I realized he didn't realize how hellish his life could have been. It took me a few moments to process those thoughts, and to calm my natural anger.

Calmly, I finished my dumpling. Then, in a steady voice, I explained. "You… forfeited your life the second you entered our domain. That's part of an ancient pact your ancestors made with us. You would stay out of places we called our own, and we would leave you alone. You don't realize how lucky you were that I caught you before someone else did. I'm a demon with strict rules. Most of the others in The Den are beasts or worst. They would have literally eaten your flesh while they raped you. Over and over. Healing you just enough to keep you alive until they were fully satisfied with you. And since we're never really, fully satisfied… you'd have lived like that for decades before they finally grew tired of you. So I'm sorry if you don't like what's happened… but you belong to me now. Deal with it. Like I said, I'm not heartless. I won't hurt you. But, I will have you. Now, I have some work I have to do. There's plenty of stuff to entertain you in here, or in my bedroom, including Koji. No fucking, though, got it? That cherry's mine. I'll be in my office. Just… don't try to run. I'll find you, but it might not be before someone else does."

I stretched and relished in the delightful cracking of several of my vertebrae. With a soft sigh, I headed to my office. Where did I put that band's contract? Grune? Grude? What the hell was that name? Damn… too much partying… Glancing back, I was barely able to contain my desire to violate that sultry red head on my couch… six months… He was so close… Just six months. That's it. Six months. I could wait that long. Six months. One hundred and eighty days. Four thousand, three hundred and twenty hours. Two hundred and fifty nine thousand, two hundred minutes… God damn… I'm going to need to call Sai a lot.

END CHAPTER

Kratos: So… yeah… some of these lemons seem to be getting out of hand.

Alexei: I like lemonade!

Nicholae: Alexei, I don't think that's quite what he meant…

Kratos: You like lemonade! Yessir… I'll get to whipping up another batch of lemonade right after I finish this one…

Alexei: Good… 'cause lemonade is the !

Mikhael: You know… I'm starting to think that there's something between those two that we don't know about…

Nicholae: You mean the wire running from Alexei's hands to the back of Kratos' skull?

Mikhael: Hmm… maybe… you don't think he's perving our little bro, do you?

Nicholae: Um… considering we're figments of his imagination… wouldn't that just be a form of masturbation? Although… Alexei is rather young…

Kratos: I am NOT perving your little brother – who, might I add is a good and loving little brother who deserves many more cookies than you give him. *looks to Alexei, who nods approvingly*

Nicholae: Mmhmm… Alright, that's enough of that…

ANNOUNCER: CENSORED FOR YOUR SAFTEY, FOLKS! SERIOUSLY, IF YOU SAW THIS, YOU'D PROBABLY BE CALLED IN FOR QUESTIONING… I WAS CALLED IN FOR QUESTIONING ONCE ON A VICIOUS MOOSE ATTACK. BLOODY MOOSE ATE THREE PRESCHOOLERS AND A TEACHER BEFORE THE MAYOR SHOT THE BASTARD… WE HAD THE MAYOR EXECTUED, NATURALLY. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A MOOSE EAT SOMEONE? IT'S NOT A PRETTY SIGHT. THIS ONE TIME, I WATCHED A MOOSE SINGLEHANDEDLY ROB THREE CONVENIENT STORES USING A HERRING BEFORE IT WAS SHOT BY AN OFFICER. I DIDN'T TESTIFY TO THAT ONE BECAUSE THE MOOSE MAFIA – WHO IN NO WAY EXIST – PULLED SOME STRINGS TO GET THAT OFFICER OFF THE HOOK. APPARENTLY, HE WAS DOING THEM A FAVOR. SERIOUSLY. THE MOOSE MAFIA IS NOT SOMEONE TO BE TANGLED WITH. AND DID YOU KNOW THAT THEY HAVE A HAND… HOOF? YEAH… HOOF IN NEARLY EVERY - OH, LOOKS LIKE THE VIOLENCE IS DONE… LATER!

Nicholae: And if you ever do it again, I'll lock it on next time!

Alexei: I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

Mikhael: Dude… I… I… I think you just… does that count as incest?

Nicholae: Hey! I didn't put anything in there that I hadn't already put in there before…

Kratos: My brain! My brain! The bleach! Where is the bleach! What has been seen cannot be unseen!

Mikhael: Dude… you're… you're messed up… like, legitimately messed up…

Kratos: *curled up on floor in a puddle of tears* Why would he… there wasn't any…

Nicholae: Seriously… he's like… nineteen now… seriously! Besides… I know you've been reading shota, Mikhael. And Kratos… you CREATED us! You knew what I was capable of…

Kratos: *shaking* What have I done? What horrors have I unleashed on this world!

Nicholae: Fine! Gods, I'll take the fucking toys out of the toy chest! God… seriously… you people are messed up… *unlocks toy chest and removes several stuffed animals*

Nicholae: Also, to all our lovely readers, I'd strongly suggest you review, lest I do more… unsavory things to my poor, sweet, defenseless, innocent little brother…

Kratos: For the love of God, do it! Please… dear God… will no one stop this maniac!

Mikhael: Wait… if we were talking about you locking his toys away… why did you bring up my shota collection?

Nicholae: Wait… what?


End file.
